If I could go anywhere, where would it be and reasons why I would go there??

            Hey Everyone!!! Brandee here with another blog. I hope everyone is doing well and taking care of yourself well. Before I get into the blog, I want to give a huge birthday shoutout to my older sister, Brandy. Happy birthday, Sissy B! I hope you have an amazing day and thank you so much for supporting me through everything and reading my blogs. I love you and have an amazing day!!

Now, lets get into today's blog!! Today's blog is about if I could go anywhere, where would it be and my reasons why I would go there. If I could go anywhere, where would it be and why? Well, if I could go anywhere, I would go to South Korea. The reasons why I would go to South Korea is because I want to try new foods, look at different stores and scenery, compare different cultures, and lastly but not least, check out different museums and check out their beach and waterpark. I would love to go to South Korea and see the different places and see how it is at night. I would love to see the different cultures and see the different clothing they wear versus what we wear. I would love to try their food and what their food tastes like. I would love to experience South Korea in the future. 

Reason #1- Try new foods.

The reason why I want to go to South Korea in the future is because I want to try new foods. Here in America, you have hot dogs, hamburgers, and other stuff but in South Korea, you have a different corn dog where it looks like it has cheese in it. I want to try it so bad. Here in America, our corn dogs are bland and in South Korea, it looks so yummy. Another thing that I want try in South Korea is there meat!! In America, our meat is okay, but I want to try South Korea's meat so bad. I just want to try everything in South Korea so much. I am praying that one day in the future, I can go to South Korea and try their foods.

Reason #2- Look at different stores and scenery.

The second reason why I want to go to South Korea is to look at different stores and scenery!! I want to see what kind of stores they have and see the beautiful trees they may have. I want to see what kind of stores they have for makeup or even BTS stuff. It would be so cool to go to South Korea and come home with some either BTS or BT21 merchandise or even Korean makeup. That would be so awesome. I would love to see the different scenery they have there and see what it looks like when it is dark at night. I would love to see how it looks at night when the lights are light up. It would be so amazing and cool. 

Reason #3- Compare cultural difference and how different it is.

The third reason why I want to go to South Korea is because the cultural difference and see how different it is compare to the United States. Here in America, you don't see a lot of guys wear makeup unless it is for a movie but in South Korea, you can see a lot of guys wear makeup and honestly, I am okay with that. I don't mind that at all. Also here in America, I don't think a lot of guys do a skincare routine but in South Korea, some guys do a skincare routine. For example, I have seen a livestream video of Min Yoongi and J-Hope putting on face masks and honestly, I didn't mind watching it at all. I hate when people call some Korean men "Feminine" just because they look like girls or they wear makeup all the time. I admire a guy who wears makeup and BTS is one of those guys who I admire wearing makeup. Another thing I have noticed as well about South Korea is that they are always wearing masks because they have bad air and they wear a mask all the time at times. Here in America, we don't have to wear a mask because of bad air. 

Reason #4 and the final reason- Museums, beach, and waterpark!!!

 The fourth and final reason why I want to go to South Korea is because they have different museums, a nice beach, and a waterpark that I would love to go to in the future. I would to go to different museums to see what kind they have and see what the culture is like. I would love to see their nice beach. Here in Mississippi, our water is nasty whereas in South Korea, they have nice water and it looks so beautiful. I want to see the different the museums that either a history or even art. I love art and history. I would love to go to a museum that has some art or some history in it. It would be so amazing and awesome. Their waterpark looks so much fun, whereas our waterpark is not fun at all. I mean our waterpark has some fun rides but not all of them are not that fun at all. I would love to explore the different museums that South Korea has to offer and see what kind of history is hiding behind each art or artifact in a history museums. 

In Conclusion!

In conclusion, I would love to travel to South Korea because to try the different foods, see some cultural differences, different stores, and see museums, a beach, and a waterpark. I would love to see South Korea one day and see what it is like in person instead of online or in K-Dramas. I would love to try the different foods and I would love to soju, which is an alcoholic drink in South Korea. I am praying that one day I can experience it and have a fun time in South Korea. I am going to work hard and save up to go to South Korea to have an amazing time. 

Question of the day!

Here is the question of the day!! If you could travel anywhere, it can be out of the United States or even in the United States, where would you go and why? Let me know in the comments down below and I would love to see everyone's responses. Thank you so much for supporting my blogs and I hope everyone has an amazing day or night, wherever y'all maybe at. 

Brandee is out!! See y'all next time!!! 

Sephora in South Korea!! 

South Korea at night!!! So gorgeous!!! 

So beautiful at night!!!

The Korean corn dogs that I want to try so bad!! 

One of their museums!!

Their beach is so gorgeous!!! 

A waterpark in South Korea!! It looks so fun. 

A display at a museum in South Korea!!!

A story about my suicide attempt.

       Hey everyone!! I hope everyone is doing well and amazing. Before I get into my topic today, this topic is a sensitive topic for me and it is kind of hard for me to talk about. I hope y'all have y'all tissues ready. Warning: This topic is about suicide. I am going to talk about how I felt throughout my life before my suicide attempt, why did I try to do it, how I got through it, and how I am feeling today. It is a sensitive topic for me to talk about I felt so suicidal for a long tine and I felt escaping from all of my problems and leave this world behind and forget everything. I didn't felt loved or anything like from people who I should felt loved by, but I didn't. 

Everyone thought I was this happy girl who was happy all the time but deep down inside, I was suffering. I was suffering something that I wished I had. Something like a mother and daughter relationship. I never had a good relationship with my mom and that hurt me growing up. My dad was always there for me and never left my side. My mom was in and out of my life most of my life. That hurt me so much. I had to go to my sisters for any relationship advice that I had or my sister, Tyna helped me with school work. It hurts not having my mom by my side. I felt so sad without her by my side. Not having my mom by side hurts me so much that I felt abandoned by her. I felt so alone. My heart ached to have her in my life. I remember her not being at my 15th birthday dinner and I also remembered her not being at any of my softball games or cheering games either. When I was a senior in high school, she promised me she would come to my senior night, but she broke her promise and she didn't show up which broke my heart so much. 

How I felt throughout my life before my suicide attempt? 

Throughout my life, everyone saw me as this girl who was always happy all the time and had a smile on my face. To be honest with everyone, I had a fake smile and I was never happy. I didn't feel happy all the time and I was hurting. I felt suicidal for a long time but I didn't have the urge to do it. I lost people who passed away in 2016 and 2017. In 2018, we moved into a great house and it is an amazing house. At time, I was feeling excited but at the same time, I wasn't feeling happy at all. On October 5th, 2018, I finally tried to commit suicide. I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't have a purpose in life anymore. I want to give up on my life. I didn't feel loved and I felt alone. I felt hurt. I was hurting and I was suffocating. I couldn't breathe because I was living a fake persona and I wasn't happy. I wanted to escape from the world forget about everything in this world. 

Why did I try to do it? 

The reason why I did try to do it because I felt worthless. I didn't feel loved. I felt so alone that I was tired of wasting my breath because I was tired of living. I was trapped somewhere that I shouldn't been. I was suffocating myself because I didn't love myself the way that should love myself. I felt people around me, but I felt like I wasn't here. I felt like I was somewhere else. I felt abandoned and alone. I was scared of people leaving me. That's why when I wanted to do it, I wanted to leave everything behind and forget my hurt and end my hurt but I couldn't because I have people who love me and I have great nieces and nephews who love me and who look up to me. I realized after that moment, I couldn't leave my life anymore. I couldn't miss the things I would be missing right now. I realized that I needed to live and I need to keep moving forward.

How I got through it and how I am doing today?

How did I get through it you may ask? Well, I got through it by realizing that I have people that love me for who I am. I am a lot stronger then I was before. I have who love me because they love me for who I am. I can tell them anything and they won't judge for who I am. What also helped me get through it is by doing what I love to do which makeup. I love makeup. Doing makeup and creating makeup looks is my passion. I love makeup so much. I love it a lot. How am I doing today? Well, I am doing well today actually. Sometimes, I have my ups and downs, but I get through them by listening to Kpop music because Kpop music makes me happy. I also watch videos of BTS that make me laugh until my ribs hurt. They put light into my dark world. They changed my life for the better and now, I am happy and myself again because of BTS. I love myself for who I am because of BTS. They are amazing guys who changed my life forever and I am glad that they did. I love them so much and they will forever be my 7 angels.

In conclusion!

In conclusion, I have went through a rough patch in my life but because of it, I got stronger and I am happy that I got through it. Yes, it is was the roughest thing I went through, but it made me a lot stronger then I was in 2018. I have improved my life a lot and I am doing things that I wouldn't imagine doing which is blogging. Blogging has helped me through so much. Just getting my story out there and see if people can connect and relate to my story or changes their life means everything to me. I couldn't done it without my family or my friends or my stepmom and dad. I am so blessed and happy that I could get through that rough patch in my life. 

Here is the tip of the day- Suicide doesn't have to be an option. Whatever you going through, just know that someone is here for you. Never give up because I love you for who you are and if you need someone to talk to, I am here for you. Never Give Up because I love you and I care about you. I will listen to you and I will listen to you. 

I love y'all and Brandee is out!! See y'all in my next blog!! 

The 7 guys who changed my life forever!! I love them so much. 

I love this song because it reminds to always love myself no matter what and whatever you are going through, just love yourself for who are and you will get through it.

Another song that I love by BTS because this song reminds me that you are never alone and that you will never walk alone in life and that someone is there for you no matter!!

Love y'all and take care! Peace out!! 

Insecurities and how I overcame them.

 Hey Everyone!! Brandee here. How's everyone doing? I hope everyone is doing well and taking well care of yourself. Today, I will be talking about insecurities and how I overcame them. This is one of the hardest things that I am talking about because I have insecurities and it is so hard for me talking about because I feel like someone is going to judge me or I am going to get negative thoughts in my head but I know that I can overcome them and I get through them. My insecurities are not looking good in outfits, wearing open toe shoes, and always down on myself.

My 1st insecurity is not looking good in outfits.

My first insecurity is not looking good in outfits. The reason why that is my first insecurity is because I feel like I am not going to look good in it or people are going to say something about it. Some people say oh! Plus size girls shouldn't wear that or they don't look good in it. The way I overcame it is I tell myself that I look really good in that outfit and that you are so pretty today. Now, I feel super confident when I wear a really outfit. I love wearing a cute outfit that shows my shoulders or show my legs without being afraid. I am so proud of how far I have come. I am literally proud of myself. 

My 2nd insecurity is wearing open toe shoes!! 

My 2nd insecurity is wearing open toe shoes. I don't like open toe shoes and I never have because I hated my toes more than anything and I don't like my feet. On May 8th, I wore open toe shoes for the first time since 2017 and at first, I was so worried that people would say something about either my feet or my toes, but they didn't say anything at all. I am so proud of myself for overcoming that fear and now, I can wear open toe shoes without any problems at all. I am so proud of myself.

My 3rd and final insecurity is always looking down on myself. 

My 3rd and final insecurity is always looking down on myself or telling myself that I am not good enough for anything or for anyone. I always have a hard time looking down on myself and telling myself that I am never good enough or I will never be good enough for another boyfriend. The way I overcame my insecurity is by telling myself that I am good enough and never beat yourself up because I know that I am the most amazing person ever and that I need to quit beating myself up and beating myself down because it is not worth beating myself up and I know that I am worthy of love and I love myself because I am an amazing person and I will always love myself forever and always, a big thanks to BTS for teaching me how to love myself.

In Conclusion! 

In conclusion, I have overcome these insecurities just by believing in myself and knowing that I am already beautiful. I have come out of my shell and started wearing things that I couldn't imagine wearing ever. I never though I would wear a tank top out in public but now, I do because I'm not afraid anymore. I am proud to be who I am and never be someone else just because that's not the real me. The real me is super confident and she believes in herself a 1,00000000000%.

Tip of the day!

Here is a tip of the day! The tip of the day always believe in yourself. Always believe that you are super confident and that you are beautiful in your own skin. Always believe that no matter what you are going through or what insecurity or insecurities that you are fighting, just know that you are an amazing person inside and out. Always believe that there is a person here for you no matter what. Always love yourself and always believe in yourself. I hope everyone is doing amazing and just know that I love you for who you are. Never change for anyone and be proud of who you are! Always follow your dreams because if you follow your dreams, you will come along way. 

I love you and I will see you on my next blog! I love y'all! Peace!!

Me feeling super confident in my open shoulder dress!!

Me feeling super confident on Christmas 2019!!

Me on my birthday this year!!!

I love this outfit so much!!!

Me and my two amazing sisters on my big sister, Brandy's wedding day and the day that I overcame insecurity of mine by wearing opened toe shoes. May 8th, 2021.

Me looking cute on my dad and stepmom's wedding!! March 27th, 2021.

All about my life!!!

Hey Everyone!! Brandee here!! So, today I am going to tell you a story about how I am feeling and what's going on in my life. I am going to talk about me in general. Being who you are doesn't make you any different than you already are. Being who you are doesn't make you any different. It's okay to be weird. It's okay to like whatever you like. That makes you different. 

In life, a lot has had happened. I was two weddings this year and last year, I started working on my room. A lot has changed in my life but I wouldn't change it for the world. I am happy and I am blessed. I love myself for who I am and I wouldn't change it for the world. Even though people have told me that I wouldn't tie my own shoes or read on my own, I still prove them wrong. I am very different from my family and that's okay with me. I am proud of being different. I love myself for who I am and I learned to love myself because I am okay with being different. 

How I learned to love myself and making myself happy?

I remember not loving myself for a long time. I didn't trust myself because I would always have self doubt and I never loved myself. I would go through thoughts in my head and telling myself that I wasn't never good enough or I didn't have the self-confidence in myself because I never felt comfortable in my own body but that changed for the best. I started to love myself for the way I am and I was proud to love myself for the way I am. I would never have those negative thoughts in my head because I don't deserve those negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts are nothing but a waste of my time and a waste of everyone's time as well. You have to come to terms by loving yourself and making yourself happy. You need to make yourself happy because making yourself happy is the best thing for you. It is the best thing for your mental health as well. The things that I love to do is by listening to Kpop music. Listening to Kpop music makes me happy and I get lost in it. I love listening to Kpop music a lot. It makes me happy. Another thing that makes me happy is writing down makeup looks. I love creating new makeup looks because it makes me look forward to wearing the makeup looks. I love makeup because it is my passion. I love makeup so much and I will always love makeup. If I work hard one day, maybe I could have my own makeup boutique and my own makeup line. That would be so awesome!! The third and final thing that makes me happy is talking to my friends, hanging out with my family, and loving on my great nieces and nephew. I love talking to my friends, hanging around my family, and loving my great nieces and nephew. My great nieces and nephew are my life. My life revolves around those children. I love those children so much!! I love talking to my friends a lot especially my ARMY friends. I have amazing friends and I am blessed to have those friends who are there for me. I love hanging out with my stepmom and my dad. They make me really happy and they always give me good vibes. I love them both so much.

What happened in 2018? 

In 2018 was one of the craziest years ever!! In 2018, we moved out of Long Beach, Mississippi and moved to Wiggins, Mississippi. Almost a month after moving into our new house, I tried to commit suicide. I felt worthless. I felt abandoned by someone that I loved. I lost my grandpa in 2017. It was so hard for me that I wanted to go and be with my grandpa. I just couldn't handle life anymore because it was so hard and I just couldn't handle it but I remembered that I have family and friends who love me for who I am and the person who I will ever be. Now, I don't even think about those thoughts anymore because I am happy and content with my life now. I will always love myself for who I am and for who I was. I may have made mistakes in the past but that makes me a better person. I will own my mistakes and grow from them. People make mistakes and people weren't born perfect. As RM said from BTS "Even if you're not perfect, you're limited edition." -Kim Namjoon. I love this quote because not everyone was born perfect but everyone was born limited edition. I love quote so much.

2019! The year that I became an BTS ARMY!!!

On May 10th, 2019, I became a BTS ARMY!! On May of 2018, I was watching the 2018 Billboard Music Awards show. When I started watching the show, I saw the band performing aka BTS. When I was watching them performing, I was so memorized by the performance. The performance was so good and I love the performance so much. After I watched the performance, I went to my room and started to listening to some of their songs. The first song that I ever got into by BTS was Fake Love. That song reminded me of me because I would give myself fake love because I felt like I didn't deserve the real love that I deserve. I would like everything was alright and hide behind a persona because the real me didn't deserve real love but I do. I deserve real love like everyone else does. The second song that I got into by BTS was DNA!! I love that song so much because it is very upbeat and I love the video because it is so bright and colorful. The third and final song that I got into by BTS was Idol. I love that song because it reminds me that it is okay to be who I am. It's okay to be weird. I love being who I am. I am proud of who I am. I love myself for who I am. BTS taught me it's okay to be weird and to love myself. I love BTS so much. I am proud to be an BTS ARMY for two years now and I wouldn't trade it for the world. They came into my life when I didn't know how to be happy. I am who I am because of BTS!!

2020- My world flipped upside down but not all 2020 wasn't bad at all!!

In 2020, my world flipped upside down. In 2020, the Coronavirus hit us. We were on total lockdown and we couldn't do anything. Everything was closed and everyone was dying from it. On May 2nd, a day after my birthday was very hard for me. My ex boyfriend for over a year broke up with over text message. It was a hard day for me. I didn't know how to react or how to feel. My world was shattered into millions of pieces. I forgot how to breathe or how to think or how to love myself. It was hurtful to me because I loved my ex boyfriend more than in this world. About 3 or 4 months after he broke up with me, he told me that he cheated on me. To be honest with you, I am not going to lie that hurt me so bad but at the same time, I didn't care. I am my own person and I love being on my own. I  am the only person to make myself happy. I would love to be on my own for a while until I meet the right guy and complete my dreams of being a makeup artist and an interior designer. Not all 2020 was all bad though!! On October 13th, I started working on my room. It was an amazing time painting my room with my dad and my stepmom. We were having paint wars! It was so fun and I enjoyed it. On December 25th, on Christmas Day, my dad proposed to my stepmom. It was a day that I would never forget. It was the best Christmas ever. I enjoy Christmas 2020!!

My 2021 so far!!

My 2021 so far as been amazing!! Two weddings that I was apart of and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My 2021 has been so amazing so far. I am so happy to be apart of two weddings for the people that I love. On March 27th, my dad and my stepmom got married. That was the best day ever! I love my stepmom more than anything. She has been there for me since the day that I could remember. She has been like a mom to me and she showed me what a mother and daughter relationship looks like. I felt so much love from her. She is an amazing woman for my dad and she makes him happy. On May 8th, my big sister also got married. I love my big sister so much. She is my rock and a mother figure to me. Seeing her walking down the isle and looking all gorgeous made me happy. She deserves so much happiness in her life and I am glad to see her happy. I loved being apart of these weddings. They were absolutely amazing and I am happy for my dad and my sister. I love them both so much.

In Conclusion! 

In conclusion, my life has been crazy! I went through a lot in my life but I got stronger because I have support from my family and friends. I have people who love me for me. I am blessed to have amazing support system. I went through obstacles and I had to jump through hoops to get through what I have been through. I had doctors tell my parents that I wouldn't read on my own or tie my own shoes. I proved everyone wrong including myself. There is a quote by Min Yoongi from BTS and it says "Yes, Look Down On Me Like That. It's My Hobby To Prove You Wrong."-Min Yoongi. I love that quote because yes! I had to prove people wrong throughout my life and I had people look down on me but guess what? I proved my haters wrong and I am proud of myself for proving people wrong. When life got hard, I kept trying and pushing through because I couldn't give up. Giving up isn't in my blood. I am here to give up on life. I am here to push through life for the people who love me for who I am and who accept me for who I am. I love who I am because I love myself. I will always love myself. Whatever you are going through, there are people here for you because you are an amazing person. Never change who you are. 

I love y'all and stay amazing!! 

Brandee is out! See u at my next blog!!